Grace

I had originally planned a post about what a horrible sinner I am, and while that will be included in this it will not be the pain point.

I am daily, hourly, minutely (let's just pretend that is a word) grateful that it is "by grace through faith, and not by works" (Eph. 2:8). I fail daily. I did not know, until I was recently convicted, how prideful and judgmental I am. I am a horrible sinner (I warned you)! I constantly think that because I do not live my life a certain way, dress a certain way, or behave a certain way then I must be better than those who do. Shame on me! Thankful again it is not by my works!

My sweet sweet mother-in-law once said when we get to heaven wouldn't it be better to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" than " Well, at least you made it." It took a while for that wisdom to sink in. I have fallen in love with that thought. I want to live my life to hear "Well done" and let others be judged by God. 

I have found the more I become I become convicted the more I want to point fingers. Isn't that just typical. I find the same thing with my children, when I am scolding one for doing something wrong they are quick to point out what their sibling is doing wrong. Most of the time my response is "We are to finished yet, so don't change the subject." God says He is our judge, and by whatever means we judge others that is how He will judge us, Yikes! 

I have noticed it more now that I have switched to skirts 90% of the time. I somehow feel more "holy", and I know it is wrong to judge others by my standards. We are all at different points and times in out Christian walks and I have to remind myself not everyone shares my convictions. 

Has anyone else had this problem? I find it even worse when you are slightly jealous of the person ( I sin again), sigh. I know I must not be alone. I have been paying for forgiveness daily as God continues to deal with me. I am constantly trying to model my life after Christ's and constantly fall short, but I rejoice in the fact that God has not given up on me! I am reminded of that kids song: 

"He's still workin' on me

To make me what I ought to be,

It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,

The sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars,

O how loving and patient He must be,

He's still workin' on me!"

Please forgive me for my rambling posts, my lack of organization in posts, and my absences because He's still workin' on me!