Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
All my life, as far back as I can remember, I have always been looking forward to the next phase in life. I have always struggled with being content. When I was little I remember wanting to be in the next grade, once I was in middle school I wanted to be in high school, then in high school I could not wait until college, in college I anxiously awaited finding my husband, once I got engaged I could not wait to get married, then once I was married I could not wait to have children, and now that I am in the middle of having children I cannot wait for each stage and for the next baby to come along. Recently I have remembered things from my childhood and realized I have missed so much. I have been so focused on what is coming next that life is just passing me by. I am like a little kid at Disney World so excited to see everything that when I get on a ride I do not even enjoy the ride because I am so focused on what ride I will be on next. God has been convicting me about being content with whatever season of life I am in. I love my family and I do not want to miss a single second of my children's lives. It is a process. Every time I feel God working in my heart it reminds me of the kid's song "He's still working on me." I guess as a Christian it is our life song, because God is always working on me. Thank you God that I am still clay.