Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Year's Resolution

At this time of year everyone is making resolutions, and sadly most will be failed and forgotten by this time next month. However I am hoping and praying I can really apply mine to my life and not just 2013. My resolution is:

To become better at the job God has called me to- a wife, mother, and homemaker

I struggle at all three, and my problems with depression some days are hard. I need to be more faithful in taking my medicine. I am also beginning to learn where I am weak in each of these areas.

I want to be a wife that my husband to be proud of. I want to have a home and children to be proud of. We also need some time just for us. Something we have not been focusing on. My last date with my husband was Valentine's Day (10 months ago!).

I want to be a mother my children will love. I want to be point them towards God. I want do more crafts, play more, teach more, laugh more. I need to enjoy the blessings God has given me more and to do a better job of raising them. I want to leave a legacy!

One of my Christmas presents was an amazing book called Large Family Logistics. I am hoping it can really help me in the area of housekeeping. I am a terrible housekeeper! Now with 3 children (3 and under) in a 900 square foot apartment, I need help with how to keep up on things and get organized. A little while back I posted aboutthe projects I am working on. I am hoping as I complete each room I can post pictures.

I am hoping to write more posts on how I accomplish these goals, so I hope you will come along for the ride! Tell me some of your resolutions.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! While we enjoy our time with family remember the baby who came into the world with the only purpose to die for our sins.

Also, remember to pray for those who are without a family member today, whether that family member is away in another part of the world or has left this earth, they need comfort on holidays.

6 weeks old
May God bless you on Christmas day! (and for those of you down south with me stay safe through these storms!)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Blog Title

My blog is called "Not Taking It For Granted" because I do not ever take one minute of my time with my family for granted. I think the sad Events of Today only make us more aware that we should take nothing for granted. The Bible says "life is a vapor" and it is never more true than when a child dies. These times remind us to hold our family close because we never know when ours (or sadly a family member's) time may be up. Pray for these parents and families who are healing.


May each of us....Not Take It For Granted

Thursday, December 13, 2012

That Amazing Moment

Up until about a month before Cathy Belle came I had been "homeschooling" my two other children. Now when I say homeschooling I mean 2-4 times per week we were working on things like learning the alphabet, counting, colors, shapes, and other concepts. I have a strong desire to homeschool my children and I am hoping to learn what works and does not work for us before it really counts. My son was my main student (Emmie has just turned 2 in August, so she was learning what she caught) and he knows shapes, colors and counting. Recognizing the letters and numbers, oh my, was hard. I felt like I might as well be teaching the cat sometimes.

We tried games, flashcards, chalk, paint, activity books, coloring pages, and anything else I could find. Nothing seemed to work, and I was beginning to doubt my ability to homeschool and whether or not my son would ever learn. He started to pick up on a few letters and I would get so excited at the thought of progress, only to be disappointed again.

The other day we were at my in-laws house and my mother-in-law had found some alphabet flashcards. Ray-J decided he wanted to play with them, so we pulled them out and he begins to look at them: "A for Apple. B for Ball. C for Cat. D for Door. E for "Elphalet". F for Flower. G for Goat. H for Hat. I for Ice Cream. J for Jack in the Box. K for Kite." At this point he got bored and started putting the cards all over the floor, but we quickly made him pick them up (because, of course, that is not how we treat our things), and as he was picking them up we identified the rest of the letters. Yay!!! I was proud of my brilliant son, and I was also having a proud mommy moment. I imparted knowledge and it stuck!



I will admit in the past week I have felt well enough to do some school with him, but I have not for a couple of reasons. One, it is so close to Christmas I feel like learning about that is more important. Second, I was discouraged about his learning and my capabilities as his teacher. Now I am ready to go, we will spend the next week learning about Christ's birth, and making our traditional Birthday cake for Jesus, but after Christmas has calmed down we will be back to doing school :) 

Friday, December 7, 2012

They need your prayers

If you could take a few minutes and pray for this couple. I went to college with them and Kathleen was one of my bridesmaids. If you are willing to write, e-mail, or call at lease one of these Congressmen, anything we can do to reunite this sweet Christian couple! They now have a sweet baby girl, who needs to have her daddy. My heart breaks for my friend, and I just ask that you take a few minutes to listen to their story and pray.Here is their Story


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Checking In

What I have been up to......

 Getting to know a little girl

Enjoying my children enjoy each other...
 
Thanksgiving

 Taking care of my husband and his broken toe...

 
YUCK!

 Dealing with Croup and Strep (both of my bigger babies had strep), and I was trying to help them avoid touching, breathing, or looking at their infant sister

Also dealing with them feeling better.....

This is what happens when your children get into flour
I am also trying to get a video of my mobile 3 week old. She started rolling over in the hospital, but now she is trying to push herself up and kick her legs. She can get places.....scary! I have always heard when a baby progresses quickly it is because they are making room for the next, so we will see.... :/

Thursday, November 22, 2012

She is Here!!!

37 weeks 4 days
We are University of Alabama fans. Living in the south football is part of life. I jokingly put as my status on facebook that the game they played (which they lost) against Texas A&M would send me into labor. I was nervous about the game and paced most of the second half. I had been having some pelvic bone pain, back pain, and contractions for a few days, so I knew I was getting close. I had just hit 38 weeks and both of my other babies were born at 38 weeks 2 days and 38 weeks 3 days, so I thought she might come soon (but I knew every baby was different). I was at my in-laws house and my mother-in-law tried to convince me to stay with her, but I assured her when I got home and went to sleep they would stop (the contractions were coming 5 minutes apart). I went home showered the kids, put them to bed, and went to bed.

At 11:30pm my contractions woke me up. They were coming 3 minutes apart and were strong and hard. I called my husband who was about to get off work, my in-laws to come help with the kids, and of course the doctor. My father-in-law stayed with the children while my mother-in-law drove me to the hospital, where I met my husband. Labor and Delivery checked my progress, 2.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced (progress from the day before where i was thick and 1.5 cm), so they hooked me up to the machines and waited. About 3 or 4 minutes after the nurse left room my water broke.

They quickly prepped me for surgery. Once the doctor opened me up he said she kept sticking her arm out. On November 11 at 2:37am, Catherine Belle came into the world, screaming. She was our smallest baby yet, 6 pounds and 18 3/4 inches.

Her siblings are in love! Her sister will not leave her alone, and her brother loves to help and talk to her. We are all smitten!



Me and my girls
As for me, I am healing. I get frustrated that I cannot get up and do more things, but my sweet husband is off for three whole weeks. My step-mom is also going to come help me when he goes back to work. I am currently just resting and feeding Cathy Belle. She is so sweet!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Butter

Something we have recently started doing is making our own butter. We crunched some numbers and figured out it was cheaper for us to buy heavy (whipping) cream, and make our own. It takes a little time, but it is so worth it,and really easier than you would think.You can do it in either a blender or in stand mixer (you could also do it with a hand mixer, but I would recommend having plenty of help around for when you hand gets tired). I do mine in the stand mixer.

Just pour the cream in and turn it on as high as you can, without it spraying out.

Just before it really starts to yellow and separate it will be whipped cream. If you were to add sugar at this stage you could frost a cake of eat it with fruit, unfortunately I have not learned to do this yet, but it is on my list!

You will let it keep mixing, turning it up as high as you can. I have also found that I have to stop and use a spatula to scrape down the sides of the bowl.


It will eventually start to separate, and this is when you will see the white buttermilk and the yellow butter. Once you see this it is finished. (Make sure you wash your hands with cold water, so you do not melt the butter.) You will scoop out the butter squeezing out all the buttermilk. Place ball (or log or whatever shape you make) into cold water. Once you have all the butter out you can save the buttermilk for bread, pancakes, biscuits, cookies, mashed potatoes, and anything else you can think of.  Remove the butter balls from the cold water squeezing any excess buttermilk and salt. Most things call for salted butter unless stated otherwise.Keep in the fridge. It is fun to make and enjoy! :)







Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Best Peanut Butter Cookies EVER!

Peanut Butter Cookies

1/2 c          butter
1/2 c          shortening
1/2 c          honey
1 1/2 c       brown sugar
1 c             peanut butter (crunchy or creamy)
2                eggs
2  1/2 c      flour
1  1/2 tsp   baking soda
1 tsp          baking powder
1/2 tsp       salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix butter and shortening. Cream honey and sugar with butter mixture. Mix in peanut butter and eggs. Mix for 2 minutes. Slowly add in dry ingredients. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Spoon onto greased cookie sheet, and put into oven on top rack until the edges start to brown. Makes about 2 dozen. Enjoy :)      

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Birth Story #1

James-Birth Story or Why I think every woman should give birth in a hospital numb from the neck down!

I really do not think that way. I really admire women who home birth and go all natural! I unfortunately, as you will see, do not have that option, but I am getting ahead of myself.
 Let me preface this by saying this is not for men, children, or women who have not had children or are currently expecting their first child.

I need to start my story at 26 weeks. I was home with husband after. Busy Sunday we went to church, did some cooking and cleaning. We were trying to make room in 1bedroom shoebox (apartment), about 450 square feet. As we went to lay down that night I was experiencing some off and on abdominal pain. After clocking them for about an hour I called my OB who told me to go to the hospital to get checked out.

(Many of you may be thinking why we were so concerned. Well, besides being first time parents, I had experienced two previous miscarriages. We were not taking any chances with this baby!)

I was put in a bed in labor and delivery, and hooked up to the monitors. The nurse also checked to see if I was dilating. Fortunately I was not dilated, but I was starting to efface. I was given a shot of Turbutaline to stop my contractions. It helped and a couple hours later we were on our way home. Little did we know how many times we would be repeating this.

I honestly have no idea how many times we went to the hospital, or how many shots I was given, but I do remember one night in particular. I was about 30 weeks along and we went in because my
contractions were so close together I could not catch a break. The nurse checked me, and I was
almost 100% effaced and starting to dilate. By the way my cervix does come down as it dilates. This
night a nurse asked me what kind of pain medication I was planning on using in the delivery room. I
 had told her none, I wanted a natural childbirth. She suggested an epidural, because of the amount of pain I experienced when I was being checked. My immediate thought was no way. My husband who had seen me in a lot of pain over the last month sweetly said maybe it was something I should consider. 

I was still considering it at my 38 week appointment when my doctor checked me and said I was 100% effaced, -1, and 2 cm dialed. He then said something that surprised, and scared, and excited me. He said "Let's induce this week." I am fairly certain after having contractions everyday for the past 12 weeks I would have let him open me up right there and get him out, but most women in that
situation probably would have. He said we needed him out because he was getting too big. I was very afraid by those words, but more relieved at the thought it would all be over soon. I went to the front desk and they were able to get me in the next morning.

Very very tired
Tuesday, March 3,  I waddled into the hospital at 6:30 am. They started my IV, and I almost passed out while the nurse was taking blood (no idea why, never happened before). At 8 am my doctor came to see me. He checked my progress 3.5 cm dilated, and he broke my water, to speed things along.

By lunch time I sent my parents, my in-laws, and my husband to get some food because we knew it would be a while. While they were gone my nurse came to check my progress I was a whole 4 cm. I was disappointed! At 4:30ish when the nurse checked me again I was 4.5 cm dilated, so at this point I said go ahead and give me the epidural. It was put in place and they gave me this amazing button to 
press for a bolo :) The anesthesiologist told me to wait 15 minutes and press it, then I could press it as much as I wanted in 15 minute intervals. At the 15 minute mark I pressed it. I honestly do not 
remember how I felt at that point all I know is for about the next 10-15 minutes the anesthesiologist, 
a couple of nurses, and my family were all standing around my bed. Apparently the bolo made my blood pressure drop. It seemed to recover fairly quickly, and I was asked to not press it again unless I really needed it.
By about midnight my poor family had found, a couple of chairs, a couch, and even the floor to curl
up on. When the nurse came to check me I was 7cm, at least I had made some progress, but I was exhausted. I tried to get some sleep.


Shortly after my family got back from breakfast the nurse said I was about 9.5 cm and to call her if I felt the need to push. It was only about 20 minutes and I was ready. Everyone cleared out of the room except my sweet husband who was helping hold my legs and telling me he loved me. I was only about 2 or 3 pushes in when I noticed bright red blood on my nurses glove. I thought it was strange, but figured she knew what she was doing. (Let me pause right here and say if you are ever concerned about anything call your doctor,if he does not help get a second opinion.) I continued to push for a whole hour before he was crowning enough worthy of calling my poor doctor who had spent the night at the hospital waiting for me to deliver.



When he comes in so do several others. I pushed for another half an hour while two baby nurses waited, a tech stood near my doctor waiting to hand him anything he needed, my nurse was holding one leg, another nurse holding the other, and another nurse who was pressing down on the top of my stomach to help him make progress with my pushes. (Part of the problem is he was coming out slightly crooked, his head and shoulders where turned slightly) I am only a couple of pushes away from him being out when a nurse says "Can't you do anything to help her?" to which my doctor replies "No, it is too late." (This is not something you want to hear while in labor) A few more pushes and the doctor lays a purple baby on my belly. All I can think is how big he looks. I am so overwhelmed by the whole situation that I do not even realize that he is not breathing.
8 lbs 3 oz

As soon as he is laid down the nurse hits the call button and requests for the NICU doctor and the anesthesiologist to come quickly. They both come in the room not a minute later, but by that time James is screaming breathing on his own. My doctor has pressed on my stomach forcing my to deliver my placenta. I am still very out of it an unaware of what is going on. The NICU doctor begins to explain what I can expect from him and the baby nurses over the next few days, while the anesthesiologist is giving me morphine and another numbing medication. He is also telling me all the possible side effects.

10 days old
After about ten to fifteen minutes the room has calmed some. The only people left are the tech, my nurse, my doctor, and another nurse who was assisting my doctor. It is at this point I learned what has happened. It gets quiet and my doctor begins with the fact I will only be able to have c-sections from now on because of a Phase 4/ 4th Degree tear (also know as a vaginal c-section). I am not going to explain these if you are curious you may look them up, but let me warn you it is not pretty and mine was worse. It took my doctor at least an hour to literally put me back together. (I was later informed that if he had not worked as quickly as he did I would have had to have a blood transfusion as well). He also had to put two stitches where there was no numbing medication (Ouch!). Over the next few days I would discover just how bad it was and painful. I was basically given any pain medication I asked for. I lived on painkillers, ice packs, and iron pills. It would take three months for me to heal enough to where there is no pain, but I still have some issues today. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

33 Weeks

I cannot believe how quickly I got to this point. I still have so much I need and want to do! I am really trying not to overdo (which I do have a tendency to do). I also have to be careful because my husband has to work the midnight shift at his job for the next three weeks while another staff member is on vacation (the stress of him working that shift alone is enough to send me into labor). I am getting very big! I am probably about the size I was when I went into labor with Jewel.
33 weeks

I had an appointment today. I very nervously stepped on the scale, since my nausea has pretty much subsided I expected to see a up in my weight, which I did...... I lost two pounds. I now weigh two pounds less than I did when I conceived. My doctor is still not concerned because she is getting big.

I came home to James asking if I was going to go to the hospital to get her out. He is getting excited about his new sister, which makes this mommy very very happy. I made him a little chart where he can mark of days until my scheduled c-section. I am trying to explain that she could come earlier, but for now it seems to be helping.

Friday, September 28, 2012

I was amazed

This week my children have been sick. I have been trying my best at home, but with more and more symptoms coming I decided to take them to the doctor yesterday. My husband works 35 miles away, and has been in a mandatory training all week, so I called my sweet mother-in-law who teaches at a local Christian school. Fortunately, her schedule worked out yesterday that she had no more classes in the afternoon, so was able to take us to the doctor. I threw some clothes on myself and the kids (since sick days are usually pj days). She graciously sat in the doctor's office for 3 hours while they did flu and strep tests, and checked them over. They just have a virus, but told us some over the counter medicine they can take for their symptoms.

She brought us home, and my husband was already home. My husband and I took the kids to the store. As we took a detour through the electronics section (for my husband) an employee turned to me to say something. She said, "Oh, you have two beautiful babies, AND one on the way! I think that is great!" I did not know what to say at first. I am more used to dealing with more negative comments, which sadly I have been hearing since I was pregnant with Jewel. I was blessed by this compliment by a stranger who was seeing us all at our worst.

 I wish more people thought the way she does. Sadly our world does not value the blessings of God, we live in a country who according to the 2010 census are only having 1.8 children per family. We are not even reproducing enough children to replace ourselves. We value things that have price tags, like cars, homes, iPhones, vacations, clothes, so many other perishable, temporary items. Children are invaluable, they are precious, they are certainly not temporary, and they are blessings from God! Thank you God for using this lady to bless our family! :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

31 weeks

I am sorry I disappeared for a while. I was trying to do a post about my first birth story (or why I have to have c-sections), but since we still do not have a computer I was fighting with the iPad and it just made me mad. I also wanted to include a picture, but the iPad will not let me do that either. Oh well.

I passed my glucose test! They had to take my blood pressure twice that day, once before and once after my test. My blood pressure was so high before my test because I was so nervous that they were concerned about having to watch me for preeclampsia. My weight has finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight. Although, I had to make a trip to labor and delivery because of some contractions I was having and according to their scale I have lost 2 pounds, so I guess we will know for sure at my next doctor's appointment on October 8th.

I will go back to my hospital visit. I had contractions that were pretty strong coming every 3-4 minutes for about 4 hours (2 hours longer than I am suppose to wait before going to the hospital). I really do not like all they do to you at the hospital. I am not effacing or dilated, which is wonderful, I had a small very fixable problem that was causing my contractions. I went home on bed rest for the weekend followed by light duty until my next doctor's appointment (8th). Thankfully I have learned my limits, and do my best not to over do it. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband and mother-in-law who are always right there if I need them, and are willing to help at those times I do over do.

I am excited to be so close to the end! On Friday I will be 32 weeks,which means the beginning of my 8th month. Where did my pregnancy go! I feel fairly good, not as much nausea, although my indigestion, getting up to use the restroom a million times, and soreness is in high gear. I am looking forward to meeting baby Belle, but I will honestly miss being pregnant.

My children have been enjoying feeling/watching her move, and give her hugs and kisses daily. It makes a mommy's heart happy to see their sibling love. The other day my son told me his Girl-girl (that is what he calls Jewel) and his Belle were his best friends. Oh yah, I cried!

I am really excited because one of the sweet ladies in our church is throwing me a baby shower. I have never had a baby shower before. I am looking forward more to spending time with the great ladies in our church more than anything. We have a wonderful wonderful church!

I hope to update more often, but with projects, toddlers, contractions, and general pregnancy I am not sure I will. I will try to finish my birth story and do at least one more update. My c-section is scheduled for November 20th, but I had my son at 38 weeks 2 days, and my daughter at 38 weeks 4 days, but I know every pregnancy is different. I have a 3 day stretch in November that I am praying she comes, so we will see :)

Monday, August 13, 2012

Week 25

This week the baby is the size of a head of cauliflower. When Belle is moving and kicking she feels a little bigger than that. I am enjoying everyone getting to feel her move and squirm. My kids love to kiss my belly! My two toddlers play so well together I am a little concerned that they will not be so welcoming of a new little person into their group.

Emotions- I have cried most recently just from fatigue. While I am closing in on my third trimester, I usually had the most energy during my 4th-7th month. I have a few nesting spells, but mostly more fatigue than anything.

Cravings- Bacon! I am trying not to over indulge, but it is just so good! ;)

Discussion Question- Let me share first what was going on, and then I will tell you what was said. I was in labor with my first son. I was about four or five pushes away from him being out, after 25 hours of labor, an hour and a half of pushing. The only person I have allowed in the room is my husband. He is standing next to me, there are two nurses waiting for the baby, my nurse who is holding my leg, another nurse holding my other leg, another nurse pushing on my stomach, a tech, and my doctor. I am extremely tired and trying to push with all the might I have left. It is at this point my doctor (who is of course just standing there) decides to announce to the room that he "would never do this", and sweet husband says he would not do it either. At the moment all I could think was right now, really are we having this conversation right now! Now looking back at all that happened I am sure he was trying to lighten the mood, but at the time it was not so funny.

I will post an update after my doctor's appointment and my glucose test. That stuff tastes nasty, but my current prayer is just to keep it down!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Week 23

I sorry I have not been on in a while we still have not figured out what to do about our computer problems. I had a doctors appointment last week. Belle is growing and is right on track. I gained a whole .2 pounds which still puts me under my prepregnancy weight. Several of my friends are pregnant too and all generally play the "guess the date game", but I am considering changing it to "guess the weight"  :) I only gained 23 lbs with James, and 16 with Jewel, and go home from the hospital weighing what I did before I was pregnant, so I am hoping this pregnancy will be a little bit of a "diet" for me (I would love to lose 10-20 lbs).

Cravings- Bacon, I have been loving bacon on salads and cheeseburgers, and anything!

Emotions- I cry over everything!

I am so excited to Olympics are on we have been watching non-stop.

I do need to ask for some prayers as I have been having several contractions lately. I am not sure if they are Braxton hicks or if they are actually doing something. I have not been to the hospital yet, but I am concerned with my two toddlers. Please pray for no bed rest!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Week 21

I am so tired this week. I am not sure if this pregnancy makes me more tired or if it is that I am chasing two toddlers on top of being pregnant. I have also been working on my projects around the house (We have already rearranged the living room). Bell is the size of a pomegranate this week. I am so excited to be on the down hill side of my pregnancy. Movement- She was actually pretty mellow up until this week, but now she is starting to become very very active. I guess she is just trying to keep up with her older siblings, that is something she will be doing for a very long time. Indigestion- Yes! I had it the other night after I ate some homemade chicken noodle soup. I have heard the old wives tale about it giving the baby hair, and have actually found it to be true. I had it from about this time on with my daughter and she was born with hair (yay! I love hair bows). My son on the other hand, I only had it at the end when he was so big that his feet were resting on my stomach. Chocolate milk is the only thing that helps, but sadly she does not like it, so I gag it down, and pray I do not lose it. Weight- I have an appointment next Monday. I have been afraid to weigh myself since my tummy has really popped out. Emotions- I cry at just about anything. I have been known to start crying when I look at one of my older children, because it really does go by very fast. Each pregnancy makes you think of previous ones, it really does seem like yesterday I was pregnant with him. Yesterday Jewel was sitting next to me when Bell started moving, so I put her hands on my tummy. She smiled so big and said "that Bell" and started kissing my belly. I pray they always have that love for each other :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

RIP Computer

Our computer died recently. I am blog when I can from my husband's iPad. He takes it to work, so I don't have it for the majority of the day, but I will try to at least post my pregnancy updates. Hopefully I will have a computer sometime in the next couple of weeks!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Week 18

This week we had our ultrasound to find out how the baby was progressing and find out the gender. The doctor said the baby looks perfect, and right on schedule. James and Jewel were unsure of what they were looking at, but it was sweet to stop and listen to the heartbeat.

Weight Gain- I am still -2 pounds. My doctor is not concerned, because the baby is growing nicely and since I started out a little overweight and I have not lost any more weight then he is fine.

Nausea- I still have some, but it is mostly smells that will start me gagging.

Cravings- Chinese!!!!

I am getting some work done around the house, and I am excited to be nesting a little. Ok I won't keep you in suspense any more the baby is a GIRL!!!

I think my husband was a little disappointed, but he is still happy with another girl. In case you had not realized I do not share my children's first names, so her middle name will be Bell. We name our children after family members. My son is named after my husband's grandfather and my cousin. My oldest daughter is after my mom and my husband's nanni. Bell is after my aunt and my husband's nanni. Nanni's name was Jewel Bell and we fell in love with it, so we just had to use the whole thing!

I was very emotional the evening following finding out the baby was a girl. I feel so blessed and honored that God would give me two children to care for, but the thought of another girl. I feel overwhelmed. I feel honored that God would allow me to have another girl to guide through life, and scared at the thought of I hope I can be a good example to both of the girls. I am looking forward to meeting her in November.

Discussion Question- I nursed my son for nine months. When he was nine months old I found out I was pregnant with Jewel and he was beginning to lose interest and I was beginning to dry up, so weaning was no problem. I started weaning Jewel at 11 months and by 13 months she was down to only nursing before nap and bed time. These were the two most difficult times to wean, because she was wearing her brace for her hip clicks and I am a wimp. I had to do it cold turkey when I started some medicine that was not safe for her. It took a couple of months of rocking and cuddling, but she did fine. I am hoping to nurse Bell for at least a year. 

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Week 17

This is the last week of my fourth month! I have not done half of the things I wanted to and I wanted to be ready by week 27, so I have 10 weeks to do my projects. My sweet children have started loving on my baby bump. My son likes to lay his head on it, and my daughter likes to hug it and say "Oh baby!" I cannot wait for them to feel the baby moving. The baby is the size of an onion this week. Next Monday is my ultrasound when we will find out the gender, and I am so excited to find out whether there is more pink or blue in our future. The current count (for guesses) falls at girl-3 and boy-1 (my husband). Sadly my daughter is the only one who says she wants girl, I will be thrilled with whatever God gives us, but most of us would love another little boy :)

Cravings- Chips and Salsa (the kind of a Mexican restaurant)!!!!!
Week 17

Nausea- Is mellowing down, but still present

Fatigue- Very very present, with two toddlers, and helping my mother-in-law

Emotions- My emotions are running high while I deal with a lot of things right now, so tears are usually fairly close to falling at any time

Discussion Question- I like to have shower things, but especially a hairbrush and a hair tie. Chapstick is important as well.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My projects

I am not going to post any pictures yet because well, I am a lot little embarrassed. I am currently trying to purge, organize, and deep clean our home. We currently live in a 900 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartment. It works great for us! I am trying to figure out the best way to use the space we have.

I am currently doing one room at a time. I will show pictures and explain what I do with each space.

Kitchen- We have a small "galley type" kitchen, our kitchen has some cabinet space, but no pantry. There is space on top of our cabinets for decorations and storage, and I am trying to balance both.

Dining/Entry- Our dining area is right inside the front door, but we do not allow shows inside our home, so there is also a space for shoes, and jackets right next to the door.

Family Room- We have a couch, glider, tv, and quilt rack. I try to keep very little in this room, since this is where we spend most of our time, and the children bring their toys in there to play.

Hallway- Our apartment is actually a made to be a handicap unit, so the hallway is over sized. This allows us to use some of the hallway space to store some things. We have the shelves for the toys in the hallway. We also currently have a bookcase in there as well.

Kid's Bathroom- Typical bathroom, except that we keep our emergency items in here because it is our safe space.

Master Bath/Laundry Room- We use this area for our family closet, storage, and bathroom. We have purchased several shelving units to help with the organization of this space.

Master Bedroom- Has our bed and the crib for baby #3. We also have a dresser, that is used for storage and as a changing table.

Kid's Bedroom- My children currently share a room. It works well since they love being near each other and my daughter has a fear of being alone. There is a dresser, twin bed, toddler bed, and a few toys.

Third bedroom- Well, it has become somewhat of a dumping ground, for boxes (I will explain what happened when I get to this room), our DVDs, and toys in "time out". We hope to make this an office space where we can also do our homeschooling.

I may take a few before pictures, but only after some work has been done. I hope that as I go through this process I can be a help to someone else who made need some motivation (and since I am actually coming out and saying it on here I am hoping to be held accountable). It will take a while, but I have 4 months right ;)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Teaching my Daughter

Spandex Shorts
Leggings
Pants
God has been laying on my heart more and more a desire about really teaching my daughter about modesty. I know she is only 22 months, but I am saddened so much lately when I go out in public and find little girls with their little bitty shorts or dresses. I know some parents say "but they are still little", but what concerns me is the lesson you are instilling in them (I am not going to get into the pedophiles who are enjoying all of your child you are revealing). When our children are young, we are starting to train them. They will constantly be in training until they leave our nest. At what point do you say well those shorts are too short or those pants are too tight, what magical age does a child hit. I have heard when a child starts to develop. My only problem is what if you have a child that develops early and one that develops late. How is it fair for a child like me who started at 9, to be told now you have to stop dressing this way, and my step-sister who started at 12. Boys are boys, I catch my 3 year old son drawn to commercials (from what very little TV we watch when home) that have women in bathing suits. I know he does not really understand, but he is a boy and that is the way he is "wired." It is my job as the mom to teach my daughter what modesty is. I have to not only show her what clothes are modest according to the Bibles standards, but I also have the responsibility to show her how to carry herself modestly. Modesty is not only dress. I am very disappointed in how many little girls today are wearing dresses and not taught how to sit in them. I am not saying that I expect my soon to be 2 year old to be able to sit modestly all the time, but as the person who dresses her I know there are things I can do to help her stay modest until she has MASTERED the ability to stay modest. I dress her in little spandex shorts, leggings, and sometimes when it is cold she will wear pants. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen little girls sit in a way that is revealing, it has been on a floor while I was teaching, at the library, on a playground, in church, at a restaurant, and I could go on, but the point is we have dropped the ball. Somewhere through the years moms have stopped teaching their daughters about this important virtue. I hope I can teach my daughter about loving by example, and I pray that she will have heart that will desire God's will in every aspect of her life!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Week 16

I am so excited that the kicks are getting strong enough for my husband to feel! This is generally the week when he begins to feel things. I love those moments when he has his hand on my bump and we are both experience the miracle of this sweet baby as he or she begins to learn how to move and tumble.

  Nausea- Is still here and oddly enough seems to be getting worse..... YUCK! There are some days I struggle to keep things down. If it continues until my next appointment (on the 25th, when I have my ultrasound!!!!)  I will talk to my doctor.

Discussion Question- As long as nothing goes wrong I hope to have more. I am praying about leaving our family planning up to God, and patiently (well kind of) waiting for God to guide my husband. Part of the problem is that I know one of the contributing factors of my mother's cancer is that she had me past the age of 35, it was a very very small factor. I also know that many OBs will only preform so many c-sections before they will "wash their hands" of you. We normally use natural family planning around 6-9 months when my cycle returns, but God has always overruled us :) Only He knows what our future holds and that is fine with me!


16 weeks
Doctor's Appointment- I had a good appointment. The baby's heartbeat is 150. I have lost another half a pound, so that makes a total weight loss of 2 1/2 pounds. This is fairly normal with me and with my nausea still present he was not surprised, but if I have lost more weight by next appointment we will discuss an anti-nausea medicine (I hate taking medicine, but I will if baby needs it). I am really looking forward to finding out the baby's gender!!! I even convinced my doctor to let me come back in three weeks rather than four ;)

Friday, June 8, 2012

Dealing with Depression during Pregnancy... Naturally

My depression and anxiety are starting to get to me, but I really do not want to take anything. I have done some research and spoke to the doctor about some things that I can do naturally. If these things do not work I will consider medicine. Here are a few things that I am trying to help.

Coffee- I love coffee, hot or cold, morning or night, winter or summer! I try to drink decaffeinated, even when I am not pregnant/nursing. While you are pregnant a cup or two will not hurt the baby. I have found through some research that it can help.

Folic Acid- I am going to be taking some extra folic acid. This is not a bad idea while you are pregnant anyways, but it can help with depression.

Tea- I am ordering Mama's Red Raspberry Tea from the Bulk Herb Store. I will be drinking a glass at night to hopefully help me calm and unwind from the day.

Omega-3- Another good thing to take while pregnant anyways, but can also aide in natural remedies for depression.

I will let you know if these things help.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Happy Birthday to my Love!






 We started dating 7 years ago today! I fall more in love with you every day. You are a wonderful husband and father. You make sacrifices for us daily, and I am the most blessed woman in the world! Happy 30th Birthday Honey!!! I love you!!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I am rejoicing!!!

I have been trying on and off for over a year to potty train my son. I did not want to push him, but once he turned 3 I found myself losing patience. He knew how to do it, he just did not want to. I tried bribery, scolding, crying, pleading, anything I could think of and any advice I was given, but many said he will do it when he is ready. About a month ago he was eating breakfast, and although I was dreading the fight, I told him he was going to put on is big boy underwear that day, his reply was "ok". I put them on him and about an hour later asked him if he had to go, he said yes, and went pee-pee on the the potty! From that point on he told me when he had to go and has only had 1 "accident" that was not an accident (and we had a little talk about that). I am so excited to only have 1 in diapers (for now). I am hoping to try my daughter when she turns two in August, if she does it I will have 2 maybe 3 months without diapers, what will I do?! I am so proud of my little man (and that we both survived to see it happen)!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Nakedness

Modesty. Somewhere we lost it. Somewhere someone forgot to teach. I know that half the problem today is fashion. It is more fashionable to wear those shorts that are so tight and so short that they leave nothing to the imagination. I understand about giving into fashion, I used to be the teenage girl at the mall in "those" shorts and a spaghetti strapped shirt. I am not writing this to condemn anyone who does dress like that, but I want to draw your attention to a particular part of scripture where God has convicted me.

Isaiah 47:2-3a
Take the millstones, and grind meal: uncover thy locks, make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, pass over the rivers. Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen:

These verses are describing God's vengeance on Babylon. He was depicting Babylon as a woman, being degraded. God is humiliating this woman by making her reveal herself. To cross a river she would either have to raise her robes high enough to reveal herself, or remove them completely to swim across.

I have done some research only to find that God finds revealing your thigh nakedness. That was hard for me to swallow knowing that for years, and years, and years I fought my step-mom about wearing modest shorts. Now I am so grateful for her guidance in preparing my heart. It hurts me when I see good Christian girls fall into the lies that fashion tells us are look good. You can look fashionable without being immodest! I know when most of us picture a modest Christian woman our pictures probably looks well somewhat frumpy or Amish, but that does not have to be the case. Fashion offers a variety of options besides things that reveal our nakedness. I know you may think what will others think of me. Well I am going to quote Dr. Seuss "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." I love that quote! I used to care about what every person who walked past me on the street thought, now I realize that there are only three opinions that matter (in this order) God, my husband, and mine. God is who I will have to answer to someday about how well I pointed to Him, about how well I was "set apart". My husband, he is my head, and He will also have to answer to God for our family, so he will have to answer for some things that I have done (yikes!). My opinion matters because I want to feel good about myself. I am not trying to be "preachy" or to convict, that is for God. I am simply trying to share what God has revealed to me. I hope I have encouraged you to search the scriptures for yourself :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

15 weeks

I kind of missed last week thanks to some sickness around our house, but this week has been a little crazy too. I am 15 weeks along, and according to many websites the baby is the size of an orange. Last week I felt the first few flutters and a small kick. I have felt all of my children move at 14 weeks. It is exciting when you feel those first little movements, and if I could sit still for two minutes together then I could probably feel the baby move again. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, so excited to hear the little heartbeat and set up the appointment for my ultrasound. We have decided we will find out the gender, but we have not decided if we will share the news.

Cravings- Homemade Ranch dressing, I dream about it (I know I am weird)

Morning Sickness- My nausea subsided for about a week and a half and now it is back, but eat snacks helps. Although I have lost my lunch a couple times over smells, my stomach is still very sensitive. I will talk to my doctor about it.

Maternity Clothes- They are definitely out, I am getting a nice round bump these days. Not sure if people can tell yet, but they will soon, because I carry my babies out front so by the end of this month there will be no hiding it!

Week 15
My son recalls there is a baby in a tummy every now and then, and when he does he will pray and ask God for a "boy to play trucks with". That is his answer if you ask him what he wants, but every time without fail if you ask him what I am having he will say it is a girl. We will see......

Friday, June 1, 2012

Cushing Syndrome

I had never heard of such a thing as Cushing Syndrome until this February. My mother-in-law was having some problems and after her cancer last year the doctors do not take any chances. They originally diagnosed her with dangerously low potassium and sudden onset diabetes. After treating her for those two things for about two weeks in the hospital, they sent her home with insulin and a strict diabetic diet. She was not getting better. They readmitted her into the hospital and ran a few tests to find that her Cortisol level was 10,000 (the average persons is 100). This lead them to the diagnosis of Cushing Syndrome. The doctors ended up transferring her to another hospital about an hour and a half away, fortunately my sister-in-law was attending the school associated with the hospital, so my father-in-law was able to stay in her apartment. They were able to remove her adrenal glands, and that was able to take away most of her problems. She is still on several medicines as her body gets back to normal. She is also doing physical therapy because she was in a hospital bed for so long making her weak. She can now stand all by her self and walk for small periods of time. She is getting better slowly, but we keep reminding her it took you months to get like this it will take you at least that long to get back. The children and I are currently living at their house for four days a week, while my father-in-law goes to work. My husband goes back and forth between their home and ours. While it is a difficult time, we know this is only for a season. I had a very difficult time dealing with some of my responsibilites a couple of weeks ago, but God laid the story of Naomi and Ruth on my heart. While that story deals with a slightly different situation it reminded me of my responsibility to my husband's family (leave and cleave). I will obviously not be blogging as much, because I will not have access to a computer on a regular basis. I ask for your prayers as she is continuing heal. I also need prayer for me, I have low energy simply from being pregnant, but also from chasing 2 toddlers, keeping 2 homes cleaning, cooking, laundry, and caring for her is exhausting me. I do not sleep well at their home (plus those wonderful trips to the bathroom at least once a night) and my children are still adjusting their sleep patterns as well. It is an adjustment for everyone involved, but with a lot of prayer and God's grace, mercy, and help we will all get through this valley.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Week 13

I am out of the first trimester (according to some)! It is going by faster than I thought it would and faster than I need it to. I have a large project to work on and it is not getting done. We live in a three bedroom apartment and our two children are sharing a room and the third bedroom we are using as an office/storage. We were thinking of separating the two and putting the baby in with Jewel, eventually. I am a co-sleeper, which is easier for me at night while I am nursing. My nausea and exhaustion have been keeping me from doing more than the bare minimum, but I am looking forward to a little more energy and some nesting. I had a doctor's appointment this week, and my doctor allowed me an extra long listen to the heartbeat and a little squirming!





Cravings- Oddly my craving has been for drinks, now that I am not nauseous anymore I am craving the lemon water that helped me survive the first 12 weeks, and I am craving Cherry Coke (I Love It!!!)
Emotions- I cry about everything, and I do not think a day has gone by lately that I have not cried
Discussion Question- I will be having a c-section at the hospital closest to us which is about 20-25 minutes away (although when my water broke last time I think my husband made it there in about half the time) I unfortunately cannot do a VBAC because of some problems I had with my first, maybe some day when everyone is armed with I strong stomach I will share my birth stories.
I am looking forward to a little visit with my parents this week. While my husband is working the kids and I may slip down to Florida for a while. I hope everyone has a great week :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Chicken Taco Pie

This is a recipe that my mother-in-law taught me, that her mother-in-law taught her, who learned it from a Mexican lady who used to live next door to her. From what I understand that Mexican lady taught Nanny to make this and she taught the lady how to make spaghetti. There are several ways to make it. I will tell you the traditional way, and then the way we like to do it sometimes.

Traditional: Take cooked shredded chicken (you can either boil some, or leftovers work great), and put in a pot with one can of red enchilada sauce and one can of green enchilada sauce. Season with an onion, salt, pepper, about a cup of shredded cheese and allow it to cook until everything is combined. Layer a casserole dish with Fritos, cover the Fritos with the enchilada mixture, cover with more Fritos and cheese. Bake until cheese is melted.

Easy: Many times we will just make the enchilada mixture and put it in a bowl with cheese (an possibly sour cream, tomatoes, green onions, and anything else you may want to add) and eat it like a dip with the Fritos. It works great this way in the crockpot!

Chicken Taco Pie

4-5 cups shredded chicken
1 can green enchilada sauce
1 can red enchilada sauce
1 onion (diced)
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup cheese
1 bag Fritos

You can adjust this to fit your family. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Week 12

I am 12 weeks! This is my last week of my first trimester... WOOHOO!



This week my fruit is a plum. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and I am so excited to hear that sweet heartbeat again! I wish I had something at home, so I could listen to it all day long.

Cravings- Mexican, mainly chips and salsa

Symptoms- My nausea seems to have subsided :)

Emotions- I have cried a lot this week, but Mother's Day has a tendency to do that to me
Week 12

Discussions Question- I have not had a doula, but I have a friend who is one, so if I ever did consider one she would be the only one I would consider. It has always just been me and my husband, but this time I have invited my step-mom and possibly my mother-in-law. I am not sure how it will go, but everyone seems to be excited.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Mother's Day

I am am going to share something that might be a little surprising.... I really do not like Mother's Day. I know I have two wonderful children (and another on the way), who remind me daily how special it is to be a mother. My mother passed away when I was almost 14. God took her home of a difficult battle with cancer, and I am glad to know she is no longer suffering. I am very grateful for the women that God has allowed to come into my life. My step-mom has been an incredible example to me through the years. She is a very godly woman, and her example in many areas of life is more than I asked could have ever asked for. I am so very thankful God allowed her to come into my life at exactly the right time, and guide me, despite my rebellious nature at the time. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am forever grateful. Last year I honored several wonderful ladies in my Mother's Day Post. This year I want to honor my mother by telling her what I would say if I could talk to her.
My mom and me

Dear Mom,
   I miss you! If only I would have known before how much time I had with you I would have made those few year much more special. That is the why life is though. I am reminded by your memory how "Life is like a vapor," we never know when we will breathe our last breath. I try to remember that as I go throughout my day caring for your beautiful grandchildren. I know you would have adored them, and spoiled them, but I know you are enjoying your two in heaven. It is difficult this time of year knowing we cannot celebrate together, because while I have some wonderful people down here, there is a special place in a child's heart reserved just for their mother. I wish I could have seen you holding your grandchildren, playing with them, and spending time with them. I must admit it brings tears to my eyes when my friends post pictures of their moms holding their new babies, but I understand that you can watch over us better from where you are. I am very grateful to God for the years He gave us together and I treasure every memory. I am looking forward to making some of the same memories with my children. Thank you for loving me. I love you, mom! Happy Mother's Day.

I hope everyone takes time on Mother's Day, and throughout the year to spend time with those you love, and hold them tight, because our time on earth is short, and you never know how short.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Migraines

Migraines are bad enough without pregnancy, but when you add that element in....oh goodness! I do not think mine are as bad as some people get them, but mine are still debilitating. I have had two this pregnancy. The first once I could barely stand up because the pain had me so dizzy. I ended up going to the Emergency Room. They started an IV, gave me benadryl, and something for the pain. I will be honest I was a little out of it and do not have any idea what they gave me other than the knowledge that it was safe for pregnant women (the nurse told me it was something used to take the edge off contractions). It was terrible! I have never felt that way before. I felt very antsy, tired, shaky, and kind of out of my body. All I knew was I wanted to get out of that hospital as fast as I could, and never go there for a migraine again. For the second one I was determined to stay at home no matter how bad it was. It was worse than the first, I was vomiting, dizzy, shaky, and in incredible pain. There was a few things I did.


  • The lemon water really helped with the vomiting, as well as crackers
  • Something light to eat (remember you need to eat for baby)
  • I made our bedroom as dark as I possibly could
  • My sweet husband watched the children
  • Tylenol (one of the few things we can take while pregnant)
  • Sleep
It started about 5:30 am, and I was able to go to the couch by 4:00 pm. Also, of you can stomach caffeine helps, cokes and chocolate (we all know chocolate will cure just about anything). I would hope no one else has to experience migraines while pregnant, but if you do I hope these ideas help you.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Week 11

I am linking up with My Joy-Filled Life today as I share my update about week 11.

My Joy-Filled Life

This week I have been told the baby is the size of a lime/lemon/plum. I use lemons all the time, so it has been fun to be able to hold one and know that is how big the baby is. My bump is currently at that stage where people think it is just a "mommy tummy" This week I even wore a shirt that said I love my bump and a guy asked me which one of my children (James and Jewel) was the bump. My sweet wonderful husband piped up and said "She is pregnant, so it is her bump from that baby!" I did not know if I wanted to cry of embarrassment or hurt him. I maintained my composure and just smiled.

Week 11
Food Aversions- Pink Lemonade, my husband offered me a sip and I almost lost my lunch.


Cravings- Chicken wings, Salad (big ones with lots of chicken, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, croutons, and dressing)

What made me cry- My son brought me a toy we got for him the day he had his circumcision, and asked what it was, as I start crying and trying to explain the story behind the little soft baseball rattle, I think he no longer knew what to do. When I finished the story he says "Mommy, you ok?" "I am ok," I said. To which his reply is "Umm, I go get daddy." Of course my husband just laughs, does anyone else have this problem? He seems to laugh about 75% of the time I cry over something :/

I am looking forward to the end of this first trimester! I know that in my second I will have more energy, and hopefully no morning sickness :)

Discussion Question: I am concerned about having a second c-section. I worry about my scar tissue, and the limits it will put on the number of children we will be able to have. I am fearful of the pain and healing, and the thought of not being able to pick up my other children. I Thess. 5:18 has always been a comforting verse for me it says: "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of Christ Jesus concerning you." I have to rest in the knowledge that God has a perfect plan for my life. It may not be easy, it may not be exactly what I want, but His ways are best! I have held onto this verse many times throughout my life, and it has been a comfort to me.


Friday, May 4, 2012

Cinnamon Rolls

I figured I would keep with the food theme I have had for the past couple of days. Being pregnant I think about food....a lot! Last night I dreamed about eating a cinnamon roll, so this morning I had to have one for breakfast. I went to about a dozen websites before I decided to go to one of my favorite sites for "copying" restaurant food at home copykat.com. I found a recipe for the dough I liked, but not filling or icing. You can go to Copy Kat you can find their recipe for the dough I used. Here are the recipes for the filling and icing.

Filling:
1 1/2 c melted butter
1  c  brown sugar
2/3 c granulated sugar
2 1/2 Tbs cinnamon (you can add more)

Icing:
4 oz cream cheese
1/2 c melted butter
1 c confectioner's sugar
pinch of salt
little bit of vanilla (about 1 tsp)

These are fairly easy, if you have patience to wait for them to rise. I tried to hurry them along, that is why there are no pictures. Hurried or not we enjoyed them, I hope you do too :)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Leftovers

Today I am linking up with the group 4 Moms of 35+ Kids, and they are discussing leftovers. These women are smart, funny, and I love reading their blogs! While I only have 2 (soon to be 3), their wisdom has given me insights to help my daily routines.
Smockity Frocks
Life in a Shoe
Raising Olives

If you have a husband like mine, who hates leftovers, you have to be creative. Here are some ideas I do with our leftovers:

Roast:
Stew
BBQ
Tacos

Chicken:
Tacos
Chicken Taco Pie
Pot pie
Noodle/rice soup
Salad

Steak:
Tacos
Hash
Kabobs

Potatoes:
Cheesy Potato Soup
Twice baked
Potato Cakes
BBQ Potatoes

Bread:
Grilled/ Baked Garlic Bread
French Toast
Croutons
Toast and make bread crumbs for any recipe
Bread is always nice to take to your local park and feed to the ducks, unless they are like ours and will chase you....then I do not recommend it.

These are just a few ideas. I would love to hear yours :)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Bread

The other day I mentioned that we make our own bread. We have a bread machine, my parents gave us, but i see them at thrift stores all the time. Here are some of my families favorite recipes:

my bread maker
Portugese Sweet Bread


1    c  milk
2      eggs
2 Tbs butter
1/3 c sugar
3/4 tsp salt
3  c  bread flour
2 1/2 tsp yeast


Honey Buttermilk Bread

1/2  c  water
3 Tbs  honey
3 tsp  butter
3/4  c buttermilk*
1 1/2 tsp salt
3 c  bread flour
2  tsp yeast

*We do not always have buttermilk on hand. I purchase it when I know I am going to make this bread and my sugar cookies. To make buttermilk: Place 1 Tbs of vinegar in 1 cup of milk and let it set for 5 minutes, stir. That is it (I love easy substitutions, especially when they are easy like that) :)


Cheddar Cheese Garlic Bread


1 1/4  c  water or milk
1 1/2 Tbs butter
3/4  c grated cheddar cheese
1/4  c  garlic powder
1 1/2 Tbs sugar
1 tsp  salt
3 1/2  c bread flour
2  tsp  yeast

You can add more or less garlic, it depends on what your family likes.

I was given the first and last recipe by my sweet step-mom, and the buttermilk one was found online at this website, which I love. I am sure you do not need a bread maker to make these recipes, but it does make life a little easier. I hope you family enjoys them as much as we do :)